The bad seed that is Eve . . . .
When used correctly, and not as an evacuation of our own frustration, corporal punishment can work wonders. Case in point:
This morning Michel had to deliver a vergette. Sorry, I don't know the English word. A vergette is a very thin long piece of wood. It ressembles a linguini noodle but only longer . . like 4 feet longer. This particular vergette was made in 1907 and is just as fragile as a linguini noodle would be if it was 4 feet long. It is used to pull the mechanical parts of an organ when an organist pushes a key. Anyway, I digress. At the same time, Michel had to deliver Nicolas and his friend Claire (both three years old) to Claire's parents for the morning. The only option was to place the vergette between the two children, look them in the eye, and with a deep voice forbid any notion of touching, licking, hitting, fighting over the said vergette. He adjusted his rear view mirror to monitor the children. Claire felt the outreach of Satan take hold and, bless her little soul, she touched it. Michel reprimanded her and threatened a spanking the next time she did it. So much for Parenting 101 : only threaten that which you can back up. The sweet invitation to sin was far too enticing to resist and, once again, Claire touched the proscribed vergette. This time Dr. Spock responded by saying the "next time you touch that vergette I won't even say anything. It'll be an instant spanking." Total silence. Seemed to have worked. Then, he heard her small cartoon-like voice say to Nicolas, "Don't you want to touch it?" Nicolas immediately replied in the following manner (and I quote) :
Nicolas no touch vergette.
Nicolas touch vergette, Daddy mad.
Daddy mad, Nicolas spanking.
Nicolas spanking, Nicolas butt hurt really bad.
Nicolas cry and Claire too.
You'll have to excuse him. Linguistically, he's a little behind because he's bilingual.
By the way, I think his last spanking was in April 2007 and it was just one short quick slap on the butt. It stung him just enough so he wouldn't forget that he doesn't deliberately defy me with a stare-down.
This morning Michel had to deliver a vergette. Sorry, I don't know the English word. A vergette is a very thin long piece of wood. It ressembles a linguini noodle but only longer . . like 4 feet longer. This particular vergette was made in 1907 and is just as fragile as a linguini noodle would be if it was 4 feet long. It is used to pull the mechanical parts of an organ when an organist pushes a key. Anyway, I digress. At the same time, Michel had to deliver Nicolas and his friend Claire (both three years old) to Claire's parents for the morning. The only option was to place the vergette between the two children, look them in the eye, and with a deep voice forbid any notion of touching, licking, hitting, fighting over the said vergette. He adjusted his rear view mirror to monitor the children. Claire felt the outreach of Satan take hold and, bless her little soul, she touched it. Michel reprimanded her and threatened a spanking the next time she did it. So much for Parenting 101 : only threaten that which you can back up. The sweet invitation to sin was far too enticing to resist and, once again, Claire touched the proscribed vergette. This time Dr. Spock responded by saying the "next time you touch that vergette I won't even say anything. It'll be an instant spanking." Total silence. Seemed to have worked. Then, he heard her small cartoon-like voice say to Nicolas, "Don't you want to touch it?" Nicolas immediately replied in the following manner (and I quote) :
Nicolas no touch vergette.
Nicolas touch vergette, Daddy mad.
Daddy mad, Nicolas spanking.
Nicolas spanking, Nicolas butt hurt really bad.
Nicolas cry and Claire too.
You'll have to excuse him. Linguistically, he's a little behind because he's bilingual.
By the way, I think his last spanking was in April 2007 and it was just one short quick slap on the butt. It stung him just enough so he wouldn't forget that he doesn't deliberately defy me with a stare-down.
posted by Cassandra at 6:33 PM
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